Kevin and I had the privilege of going to a Marriage and Mentors conference in Texas this last weekend. This was our 2nd year to be a part of this conference, so we knew our hearts would be rocked. There really are no words to describe the amount of love that the men and women of this Texas church showed to all the attendees of the conference. They truly get what it means to serve others for Christ.
I honestly don’t know where to start on summarizing what I took away from all the speakers and sessions. I do know that I will be pondering over all the teachings and testimonies for months to come. I pray that I will turn the knowledge that I now know into wisdom over the years.
As I sit here and flip through the pages of my notebook it excites me to know that the real miracle happened over 2000 years ago and all the struggles and heartaches in our marriages that we are living through today have been healed and forgiven. That truth opens my eyes and helps me understand that sometimes God is willing to keep me in my struggle if it keeps me dependent on Him. The freedom is knowing the struggle is never in vain. I often forget how much more committed the Lord is to me then I am to Him. That alone gives me so much hope and encouragement!
It saddens me to realize how closed off we are in sharing our deepest struggles that we have in our marriages with our family, friends and church leadership. We openly talk about sins in our lives such as gossip, laziness, lying, worry, alcoholism, gluttony, etc., but why do we not face the truth that marriages are struggling and falling apart behind closed doors. Is it because the biggest struggle has something to do with a sexual sin? Do we feel all alone and that no one else could possibly be going through the same sinful feelings or actions? I can almost promise you that you are not alone. I say this with experience. I finally came clean and shared with Kevin a sin that I committed against him. I kept it hidden for 4 years. Why did I hide it for 4 years? It was because no one I knew ever talked about committing the same sin that I allowed myself to commit. I felt all alone and did not want to be labeled. The crazy thing is I have been a part of many different “Marriage” Sunday school classes. No one ever talked about the “junk” they were going through in their marriages openly. It seemed to me, by all the discussions, that everyone had a darn good marriage. It takes just ONE person to open up. Did it really have to be me?!?! Once I came clean and started confessing my past struggle with others, I found out that I was not alone. If we all could be open and honest about our “junk” we would have more support than we would know what to do with. Secrets have a way of growing in power. We must always remember that our sin and feelings do not define who we are in Christ. The head pastor of the church that held the marriage conference said, “All of us have junk drawers in our homes, but that is where we go to get the one thing that matters most”. So true!
I could go on and on about the sessions we had especially on sex, but I will save that for some GOOD one on one discussions! I do hope that if you are in a current struggle that is affecting your marriage you can find the strength to share it with others. Not only does this help you be relieved from shame, but it helps others know they are not alone.
Thank you Sheldons and Bristols for this weekend of bonding and worshiping the Lord together. We will hold this time spent together close to our hearts.
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